Some names are chosen for tradition. Others for beauty. But every so often, a name is chosen to carry someone forward — a memory, a friendship, a loss. For Melinda French Gates , the name “Rory” is inseparable from love and grief.
In her new book The Next Day, the philanthropist and former Microsoft executive opens up about one of the most profound relationships of her life: her friendship with John Neilson , the man whose name she gave to her only son. The story, shared with the People and detailed in her memoir, is both deeply personal and achingly human.
Melinda met Neilson shortly after joining Microsoft. Their friendship blossomed quickly, and they soon became a tight-knit foursome — Melinda and her then-husband Bill Gates , and John and his wife Emmy Ward Neilson.
"I once told John that next to our children and families, Bill and I considered our relationship with John and Emmy to be one of the most important things in our life," Gates writes in The Next Day. "The four of us came together right at the threshold of adulthood, and in a way, we grew up together."
But that season of closeness turned into one of sorrow when Neilson was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma(a type of blood cancer). As the cancer progressed aggressively, Melinda, pregnant at the time, found herself facing the devastating intersection of birth and death.
"The days that followed were restless and eerie," she writes. "Any day now, my son would be entering the world. Any day now, my best friend would be leaving it. There was anticipation and dread, joy and grief."
As her due date neared, she and Bill decided she would be induced. Before heading to the hospital, she made sure to visit Neilson, unsure whether he’d still be alive when she returned.
"I didn't want to miss my chance to say goodbye," she recalls.
By then, Neilson didn’t have the strength for long visits. Their final conversation was brief but left a lasting imprint.
"It was short but wrenching," she writes. "I told him I loved him. And I told him I would be giving his name to my son."
John didn’t pass that night. In fact, the last photo Melinda French Gates has of them together is on Neilson’s porch — she had just left the hospital, and her newborn son rested in Neilson’s lap.
“There’s joy in that picture, too,” she writes, “because on his lap, he’s holding my son, Rory Gates. Rory John Gates .”
In an interview with PEOPLE, she admitted, “That was really seminal in my life. And yet I felt so good about the way I wrote that chapter.”
"I was like, 'Will John feel like I wrote it in a true, authentic voice?' Yes," she added. "And of course, I showed his wife and she didn't ask me to change anything." In honoring her friend with her son’s name, Melinda French Gates didn’t just memorialize a beloved figure from her past. She gave her child a legacy of connection, gratitude, and enduring friendship — the kind that shapes not only names, but lives.
All about Rory John Gates
Born on May 23, 1999, Rory John Gates has largely stayed out of the spotlight despite being the only son of two of the world’s most well-known philanthropists.
A dedicated scholar, Rory completed both a double major and a master’s degree at the University of Chicago — all within just four years. His academic journey is a testament to his intellect and drive, but it’s his character that Melinda French Gates has praised most publicly.
In a 2017 TIME essay, she described her son as “compassionate and curious,” adding that he’s “intelligent and well-read.” She also highlighted his strong commitment to gender equality — a value he’s upheld since he was a teenager. “Across 18 years of conversations, sharp observations and everyday actions, he's demonstrated his belief that gender equality is something worth standing up for,” she wrote.
While Rory keeps a low profile and avoids public life, his professional path speaks volumes about his values. According to his LinkedIn profile, he currently serves as an analyst for the Afghanistan War Commission — a role that suggests both analytical rigor and a deep engagement with global affairs.
In her new book The Next Day, the philanthropist and former Microsoft executive opens up about one of the most profound relationships of her life: her friendship with John Neilson , the man whose name she gave to her only son. The story, shared with the People and detailed in her memoir, is both deeply personal and achingly human.
Melinda met Neilson shortly after joining Microsoft. Their friendship blossomed quickly, and they soon became a tight-knit foursome — Melinda and her then-husband Bill Gates , and John and his wife Emmy Ward Neilson.
"I once told John that next to our children and families, Bill and I considered our relationship with John and Emmy to be one of the most important things in our life," Gates writes in The Next Day. "The four of us came together right at the threshold of adulthood, and in a way, we grew up together."
But that season of closeness turned into one of sorrow when Neilson was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma(a type of blood cancer). As the cancer progressed aggressively, Melinda, pregnant at the time, found herself facing the devastating intersection of birth and death.
"The days that followed were restless and eerie," she writes. "Any day now, my son would be entering the world. Any day now, my best friend would be leaving it. There was anticipation and dread, joy and grief."
As her due date neared, she and Bill decided she would be induced. Before heading to the hospital, she made sure to visit Neilson, unsure whether he’d still be alive when she returned.
"I didn't want to miss my chance to say goodbye," she recalls.
By then, Neilson didn’t have the strength for long visits. Their final conversation was brief but left a lasting imprint.
"It was short but wrenching," she writes. "I told him I loved him. And I told him I would be giving his name to my son."
John didn’t pass that night. In fact, the last photo Melinda French Gates has of them together is on Neilson’s porch — she had just left the hospital, and her newborn son rested in Neilson’s lap.
“There’s joy in that picture, too,” she writes, “because on his lap, he’s holding my son, Rory Gates. Rory John Gates .”
In an interview with PEOPLE, she admitted, “That was really seminal in my life. And yet I felt so good about the way I wrote that chapter.”
"I was like, 'Will John feel like I wrote it in a true, authentic voice?' Yes," she added. "And of course, I showed his wife and she didn't ask me to change anything." In honoring her friend with her son’s name, Melinda French Gates didn’t just memorialize a beloved figure from her past. She gave her child a legacy of connection, gratitude, and enduring friendship — the kind that shapes not only names, but lives.
All about Rory John Gates
Born on May 23, 1999, Rory John Gates has largely stayed out of the spotlight despite being the only son of two of the world’s most well-known philanthropists.
A dedicated scholar, Rory completed both a double major and a master’s degree at the University of Chicago — all within just four years. His academic journey is a testament to his intellect and drive, but it’s his character that Melinda French Gates has praised most publicly.
In a 2017 TIME essay, she described her son as “compassionate and curious,” adding that he’s “intelligent and well-read.” She also highlighted his strong commitment to gender equality — a value he’s upheld since he was a teenager. “Across 18 years of conversations, sharp observations and everyday actions, he's demonstrated his belief that gender equality is something worth standing up for,” she wrote.
While Rory keeps a low profile and avoids public life, his professional path speaks volumes about his values. According to his LinkedIn profile, he currently serves as an analyst for the Afghanistan War Commission — a role that suggests both analytical rigor and a deep engagement with global affairs.
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